slipping by // pt. 2

dear february —

xii. i was lost in my worshipping. when she wrapped her arm around me and held me in tight embrace it was a rather pleasant surprise. she rested her head on my shoulder and remained for several minutes. all the while she didn’t utter a word — just stretched the sweetest smile across her face. warmth glowed from her eyes. i felt cared for and loved for who i was. i don’t even remember receiving a hug like the one during that moment. there have been passing ones, yes, but far has there been one with that tender feeling.

xiv. thank you for second sisters who point the way, who empathize, who care, who affirm, and who drop a “hello” at just the right moment. the amount of love i have for her is overwhelming. ahhhh. iron sharpens iron and this girl is such a blessing.

xiv. precious moments include waking up and watching the sun rise. treasured moments include doing something for the first time and totally bossing it. memorable moments include, after succeeding, people surrounding praising you but most of all your dear father enveloping you in a papa bear hug and saying “well done.” treasured moments include your teacher telling you did a perfect job. oh, to feel loved. oh, to feel affirmed. it’s moments like these that i enjoy life.

xiv. “i consider you one of our leaders,” stated the voice on the other end of the phone line. wow. this person of authority saying such a statement about me? this blew me away. thank you for surprise guides who spur me on to reassure me in what i’ve been doing and to keep living out.

xiv. hallelujah for confirmations and blending in with a bunch of nerdy thirty-year olds. what a road paver.

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slipping by // pt. 1

dear january —

xii. something about the frigid temperatures that you bring, mixed with raw emotions based on unfortunate circumstances, and unsettling social media dms that don’t quite sit well in my being… made me slink back into emptiness.

xiv. beauty broke free that evening. the melodies of one voice shook my heart. i had to stop trying. stop living from a state of mind that i could change it. i resolved to step in and the song that came through made my heart jump off the walls of my desperate soul. that night he scored a victory. thank you for revelations and break-throughs.

xvii. when someone like him leaves i cry. ’nuff said.

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a rub on your shoulder

precious one, dear one…

if only i could hug you and embrace you. but i fear you’re too distant, and everything i do seems to bounce off as if i didn’t even try. listen to me. i do.

i understand what you’re going through. you don’t believe me, but i do. oh, the pain and the suffering in your eyes were once in mine as well. when your walls seem to cave in and all you want to do is evaporate or slam the brakes. i’ve felt it.

some people don’t understand. but i do. life happens. feelings erupt. thoughts of “if only…” “could have, should have, would haves” flood my brain as i’m sure it does yours. but listen. life isn’t perfect. it just isn’t. we fail. we all do. you might look at yourself and say you’re not good enough. you may think you can’t do anything right; that you are a failure. you don’t have to strive for perfection because guess what: Jesus is your Perfecter. his grace is sufficient and covers all your weaknesses. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

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