no longer wanna-be

fake it till you make it yell “those” kids
that’s what they all say
maybe that’s how they made it up there

am i right?

i try, try, try
to be someone that i’m not
i’m an oughtta-be, wanna-be, gotta-be
the cycles of strife surge me on

i’m a workaholic, control freak, and perfectionist… to the T

i want to win, win, win
get up on top, feel good about ma self
i find myself bending down
bending myself to win the hearts of people
bending myself to win a little more love

bending myself to win just a little more approval and just a few more scraps of acceptance

but i fail, fail, fail
when i try

to win

maybe instead i should try to be
a serve-aholic instead of a workaholic
and let someone else be in control of me
maybe instead i should
turn to the cross of perfection — at the only true perfectionist

instead of making one out of me

what if instead i embraced myself
for who i am, and for who i will always be —
beloved, for all eternity. 

don’t fake it, honey

you think i can’t tell
but darling…

i can.

you are worth more than rubies

you, precious, never go out of style

won’t you look into my eyes
just remember

baby, you are priceless.

like a ring of solid gold
a smooth and flawless pearl
drawn out from down, down down

refined and raised above all else

don’t bend down, for i have drawn you up
out of deep waters i have pulled you,

calling your precious name

all the voices in your mind
that make you weak inside
don’t belong —
don’t belong
in a place
as beautiful
as you.
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22 thoughts on “no longer wanna-be

  1. Rayne at the Bus Stop says:

    This is beautful!

    “maybe instead i should
    turn to the cross of perfection — at the only true perfectionist
    instead of making one out of me”

    Those lines might have to go up on the wall in my house to remind me of this truth that you have conveyed quite masterfully in this poem. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rob says:

    Holy hell I loved this, mostly the first part. The choice of words, the line breaks, how many points you make about the issues, how you neatly completed it at the end with the ultimate answer. I don’t think you even need the second part. It was a wonderful “Introspection” for me. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

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