O God, you know everything about me.

you know when i’m fully engaged and full of whimsy and when I am frustrated, beaten down, and exhausted. you know when I am excited and when i am upset. you know when I am content and when i just feel like throwing myself on my bed and sobbing. you don’t need to read my blog, or my journal, or the last text conversations i had with my best friend, or even the last scripture i highlighted to find out what’s on my mind. you know full well what makes me tick, frustrated, and annoyed even better than i do, because sometimes i don’t even know what to think!

you, Lord, cast the vision. you go before me and know what will come along my way. you go behind me watching my back. you place your hand on me even now, making sure i am okay because you, Father, always want the best for me. let me not, Lord, ever run away. if i were to run away let me run to You– because you, the king of my heart, are the mountain when i run and the shadow where i hide. because really, there’s no such thing as running away. 

you are the potter, i am the clay. you are the woodcarver, i am the wood. we are all cracked pots. but even cracked pots have their own special purpose. you oh God make no mistakes in molding us and crafting us to what you’ve made us to be. you took this lump of clay and had amazing things in mind. beauty out of ashes, something out of nothing. you make beautiful things out of the dust. we like sheep have gone astray. but yet you call us your beloved, and make beauty out of us. for i am wonderfully made by the maker of all good things. i praise you, father. your praise will ever be on my lips!

when i turn away and act stupid, you never abandon me or reject me. when i turn to escape, you place your hand on my shoulder and hold me fast. all this time i’ve been trying to look for a place of rest, i’ve looked in the wrong places. for you, oh Lord, i seek. i may cry to sleep with pain in the night but joy comes from the security of having you in all my days

if i say, “surely i am unworthy, inadequate, too weak,” you do not dismiss those thoughts. instead, you give me assurance of your unfailing love. if i say, “why, God, am i like this?” you do not condemn. instead, you come to my aid, and strengthen my soul.

you made me how i am for your purpose because you are good and you’re never gonna let me down. you place things in my life to teach me how to be more like you, Father. you teach me how to be patient — how to love, and live love. 

some days i barely hold on, when life drives me down… i’m lost without you. your grace is beyond compare. all my pain, hurts, and regrets are tucked into your awesome and amazing plan that you have hemmed into existence even before i took my first breath of life. your awesomeness is too vast, too grand, too lofty, too unexplainable to be recorded. if i were to tell of your amazing character my voice would cease to function and i would run out of words to say

let the morning remind me of your unfailing love, for you always have been good to me. God, i’m frustrated that the world that you called good doesn’t seem all that perfect. please cast away the lies i’ve believed and replace them with the promise of your never ending goodness. oftentimes i don’t think your people are acting in a way that is pleasing to you, oh God. sometimes i hate myself for not being good enough for you. i have become my own worst enemy.

change my heart oh God, make it ever true. change my heart oh God, may i be like you. listen to my heart cry and be near to me. pour your spirit over me that i may feel your presence. lead me to high places, father. take me, this is all i can bring. you’ll never stop loving me. no matter how far i run. you’ll never give up on me. when the darkness of night is holding on to me, you, my God, still holds on

based on Psalm 139. associated ideas — “Love Does” by Bob Goff, King of My Heart (Bethel Music), The Good Thing Maker, The Cracked Pot folktale, Beautiful Things (Gungor), You’re Not Alone (Owl City), Psalm 143:8, Change My Heart O God (Vineyard Worship), God’s Great Dance Floor (Chris Tomlin)

Always keep singing,



4 thoughts on “139.

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