having grown up in a Christian household, i entered His family at a pretty young age. but only until recently did i take my personal relationship with Him seriously. For a long time, i was lukewarm. i felt ashamed of being a Christian. even though i knew Romans 1:16 says “i am not ashamed of the Gospel”, i still felt timid and insecure. i struggled to see God in my life and i yearned to have a real encounter with him.
about a yr and a half ago i sinned pretty badly, and said a lot of things i didn’t mean to say. i have no idea what i was doing that day– i acted foolishly and rebelliously. after getting found out, i had a lengthy conversation with my mom, and realized how serious the situation was. i repented, apologized to the person i had hurt, and he forgave me of all of the consequences I was to face. i am so grateful for the undeserving mercy that was given to me when i escaped the consequences i deserved and the forgiveness he gave me through grace. that day i fully experienced Christ’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness that is given to me out of His love.
ever since that time, i’ve gotten closer to God than ever before in my life and realize my everyday need for Him and His grace. i’ve started viewing God with a renewed sense of love. i see now that the situation i had last year changed my life, and i am truly humbled because of it. i don’t understand why i screwed up that day, but now i see that sometimes God lets the enemy pull me away from Him for a little bit and then He stops and takes the reins.
before, i wandered aimlessly– trying to see God in my life. but now, i’m content. i’m content because if I stop to think, evidence of God is all around me. i’m content because now i find peace, joy, and love through Christ. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “but he said to me, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ’s sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong.”
God’s grace is sufficient for ME. he used my weakness to make me a stronger Christian. he covers up my sins and failures with His unconditional love and grace. because of His grace, i am redeemed.
in a song by the Christian band, Big Daddy Weave, it talks about God’s grace and redemption for us. some of the lyrics go like this:
And a hope that will carry me home
God has done a great work in me, and i know he has a plan. he has transformed my mess into a wonderful message. the experience i had with Him that day when i sinned, changed me. he has drawn me closer than ever before through His redemption and forgiveness. though a battle still rages within me, i’ve started to overcome my timidness and fears. “because I know that He has not given me a spirit of timidity, but of power, of love, and self-discipline (2 Tim. 1:7).” “it is through Him that all things work for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).” i know He is not done with me yet. he’s still molding me and shaping me to be more like him through Christ’s love for his glory. even though i don’t know what he has in store for me, i know he has a higher calling for my life. he has a higher purpose, and he has great things in mind. because he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6)