what jealousy taught me

i was jealous. jealous of a friend. the stirring in my heart, the slamming in my guts… i was pressured by a rival. but who am i to compare?

“therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ” Philippians 2:1-4 (emphasis added)

“therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. for the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3 (emphasis added)

LORD, i have sinned. thank you for reminding me of Philippians 2:3-4: do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. who am i to judge? God, you are the Ultimate Judge. i have done wrong by holding myself up to my fellow sister in Christ. break me, this is all I ask of you. help me to have the right attitude. to keep going, Father. it’s tough…but that’s why i’m here, aren’t I? i know your purpose prevails. help me to keep going. help me keep my eyes on YOU rather than human distractions. increase my hunger for you, O Father. i want more of you. 

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